The Mermaid Theory
by AllTheCurses
Summary: Bernadette undergoes a major change. Howard can't deal with it and Raj can't deal with his loneliness any longer.


_Author note: Special thanks to Christos R. for the inspiration! _

It shocked Bernadette how easy it was to breathe underwater. She would think even in her new condition she would still have some innate fear come to the surface once the tank filled to the top with water. She thought she'd swim to the surface as a reflex. But as the water filled her nostrils, she felt no need to breathe in. The growths on her neck opened seamlessly and she was filled with calm. The fear, the outrage, the shock of the experiment gone wrong – the anger that she was assigned to study a emerging beta fish infection. But if she had to drop one dish and expose herself to the infection, it was better this than the ebola virus. Better to be a healthy mermaid than a woman bleeding out of her eyes.

After only a few minutes wading in the tank, she knew she was happier this way. Now came the hard part.

* * *

Raj sighed as he looked out the window. He had spent the past hour as he showered, exfoliated, shaved and styled his hair, convincing himself the rain would end by nine o'clock when Howard was supposed to come over. There was a new bar opening down the street and, like he imagined every bar before he entered it, he believed he would meet his soulmate there.

The thought that he had not yet met his soulmate only came to him when he was optimistic. After a few hours out and a few grasshoppers and Brandy Alexanders in him, he would look around the room in disgust and feel the sad ache that he had already found her but it was not meant to be.

His cellphone rang. Howard.

"I know you're calling to cancel because you think you are the Wicked Witch of the West and cannot go out in the rain," Raj said into the phone, "But let me tell you something. You will never be half as fabulous as Margaret Hamilton!"

"Who?" Howard answered.

"Margaret Hamilton. She played the Wicked Witch of the West in _The Wizard of Oz_. You would know that if you'd keep your promise to watch the special edition DVD with me."

"Look, I don't have time for this. I'm actually right by your building but I need to go. Bernadette called me while I was parking the Vespa. I have to go to her lab. It's some kind of emergency."

Raj felt his chest tighten.

"Emergency? Has she called 911?"

"No, she told me not to either. I have to just go meet her. I'll call you later. And by the way, if you go out tonight, be careful. The biggest puddle I've ever seen is in front of your apartment building. It looks like a moat."

He hung up before Raj could ask any more questions. He was frozen.

_What can I do?_ He thought. _What can I do?_

* * *

It could have been ten minutes since she called Howard or it could have been two hours. Time stopped mattering to her. She ran her fingers through the water in front of her face. She watched the tiny waves they made. It was like she was seeing for the first time. She ran the conversation through her mind again.

_Howard, this was an accident but it's the best thing that's ever happened to me. I can't explain how freeing it is and how much more beautiful the world is. I want you to join me. I know it's scary but love is about taking a leap together._

She head the muffled sound of the door opening and Howard's voice calling her name.

_OK,_ she thought, _this is it. I can't wait until he sees how I look._

She swam to the top of the tank with her eyes wide open and a smile wide across her face.

Howard took one look at her soaked cardigan, wet hair and green fin.

"Nope," he said and walked out the door.

* * *

Another time when time stood still. Crying into the water was strange. It was like not crying at all. Bernadette felt her future slip away from her. Maybe she could change herself back? And why was part of her relieved that Howard left?

Her conflicting emotions stopped her from emerging from the tank when she heard the door open.

_I guess she changed his mind_, she thought. _But now I have too_.

"Bernadette, are you OK? Where's Howard?"

She was surprise her heart leapt at Raj's voice. She swam to the top of the tank.

"Raj, what are you doing here?"

"Howard said you were in trouble. Where did he go? Are you OK?"

Her eyes refilled with tears. He was so concerned with her well being, he hadn't even realized she changed.

"He came and he left already," she said.

Raj's eyes finally wandered down to her scales and fins.

"Oh my goodness! You look great!"

She couldn't help but laugh.

"It feels even better than it looks. I feel like I have a weight off my shoulders. Well, one short, lusty weight with mommy issues specifically."

"Howard left you because of this?"

"I guess he's just not into mermaids."

"How could anyone not be into you?" he said, moving closer to the tank. "Even as a mermaid? Or a vampire, a werewolf, troll, centaur, half-monkey, half scorpion."

Bernadette laughed.

"Stop kidding around. You're just being nice."

"No, I'm not," he said. "I would never kid about you."

They locked eyes. Her heart softened. She put her wet hand on his arm.

"Raj, this is going to sound crazy, but would you ever consider joining me?"

"Without a doubt."

Bernadette gasped. Something very deep inside told her this was right.

"But where would we go?" she asked.

"Something just popped into my head," Raj said, "and it's pretty out there but I'm sort of convinced it will work."

"Well," she said after some thought, "I don't think I'm in a position to question what is and isn't possible right now."

She leaned towards him, anxious to hear his plan for their future.

* * *

They both felt a bit silly during the drive. Bernadette in the passenger seat, her fin resting against the dashboard, her face in a fishbowl so she could breathe. Ordinarily, Raj would be terrified of the water ruining his car interior but what did it matter now? He held the dish with fish virus that had turned Bernadette in his left hand and drove with his right.

What they were about to do defied all science, logic and physics. But so did the thing that brought them together.

"Wow," Bernadette said when they arrived, "it really is like a moat!"

The mass of water in front of Raj's apartment had doubled since he left for Bernadette's lab. As he left his apartment hours to go to see her, he had the strangest thought.

_There's an apartment building in front of my home._

He parked the car and carried her out side. He stared at her face in the rain.

"I just want to do one thing in case this fish virus kills me," he said as he brushed her wet hair from her eyes and pressed his lips against hers. Any doubt between them was washed away with the rain.

"Well, here it goes," he said and poured the contents of the dish down his throat while jumping into the puddle.

The first thing he felt was sinking down – down further than any mere puddle could be. He felt the water cover his head and he looked down to the crystal clear water beneath him. The next thing he felt was his tail behind him, propelling him forward more than his legs ever could. He felt his gills open and a rush of water enter him and clear his new lungs.

He felt Bernadette wrap her hand around his. He squeeze it tight as they swam into their new lives together.


End file.
